#and everything else that comes with going to school i did
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canihaveacalmtime · 3 days ago
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"Here's your hot cocoa, have a good evening!"
You receive your drink as you bow, thanking the employee and go outside to find a seat. As you sat next to a decorated christmas tree, you look in front of you and see a giant build board printed a familiar face on it.
Should you be proud to know that your memory is very good because you could recognize your highschool bully?
Probably not, haha...
You take a sip of your cocoa, thinking about what had happened in the past between the two of you.
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It's like any other highschool bully story that everyone always read, during your first year, you were picked on by the richest and the most handsome guy in school and he forced you to do his homework everyday for 2 years. Tormenting you in the halls, drag you out whenever his mood isn't it, making you a laughing stock for the whole school.
But why only 2 years? Because everything went upside down for him when the last year started.
His parents had enough of him and brutally cut off his bank account, told him that either he learn how to work hard or he'd never get his hands on his father company. When he thought that his long time friends would still be there to support him through this, they quickly turn their backs on him upon knowing that he has no use left to them.
During the time he was at his worst, you stepped in and offer him a helping hand, telling him that you will help him with everything for this last year and in return, he must comply with your one request and can not decline.
He was wary at first when you suddenly did that but he had no other choices as there was no one else except you that would help him anyways.
And he was not disappointed for trusting you, you supported him through every single thing, improved his grades making him in the top 50 of the school, engaged him in participating in that model contest and also fulfil the role of being a friend that he can rely on.
When the school year end came, it was also time he hear your request. You couldn't remember much about anything other than what you said, you can't remember how the scenery looked like, what the principal was saying on stage, even the look on his face because after you said it, you left immediately.
"Let's never cross paths ever again in this life, that is my request."
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You realized that your cup is now empty just like how the streets are also beginning to be, so you throw the cup into the trash can and walk home.
You wonder back to the times when you were teaching him the subjects, you would sometime catch him staring in an obsessive way at you but you didn't really care back then because your hatred for him was too much but now that you moved on, you wonder why he was staring at you like that.
"He also said something after I left that day but I couldn't hear what it was.." You mumble as you step out of the elevator to your apartment only to be greeted with a door that is not locked at all.
Your movements were hesitant, slowly, you open the door with cautious as you also carefully step inside your home. Right after you had closed the front door, a sudden sting on your neck send you off balance, fall into someone's arms and fainted immediately.
"Come get me at the apartment now." The tall figure said through a bluetooth headphone device on his ears.
Your bully smile down at you with a creepy smile, inhaling your familiar scent as he hug you close and tightly around his arms.
"You can tell me to do anything, give you anything, to die even. Anything but letting you leave."
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After they said those words, my world seemed like crashing down on me in seconds.
I guess I have no other choice but to fulfil a different request from them in the future then.
"I shall have you in my arms when we meet again, love."
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(ayy pov change :D)
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stevesgother · 2 days ago
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Little Red Lighthouse - S.H
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Pairing - Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
Warnings - exes to lovers, second chance romance, angst, slow burn, hurt/comfort, idiots in love, so much pining, cursing, alcohol & drug use, mental health themes
WC - 1.3k
AN - this was originally gonna be a super long oneshot, but in typical emma fashion I'm making it into another mini series
Divider by the amazing @strangergraphics <3
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The Alcott. That was your favorite bar in Hawkins; and it was all you could think about sitting outside this shitty bar in Chicago. A mere few hours from home, and yet entirely too far. Just having finished school; it was an education completely orchestrated by your parents. A college you didn’t want to attend, a degree you had no enthusiasm for.
This was how you seemed to be spending most of your days post-undergrad: sulking and ruminating. Everything you could’ve had, but don’t.
“Steve, this is insane. That’s like a 15 foot drop!” 
You say as you peer over the bridge, shivering slightly in just your underclothes. It was only the cusp of Spring, the weather in Indiana hardly what you would consider “warm”.
“Oh c’mon. You said you would!” He barked a laugh.
“I told my mother that if you jumped off a bridge that I would too as a hypothetical.” You deadpan, even though a smile still tugs the corners of your mouth.
He looked lovely, always did. Moles adorning his cheeks, scattering their way down his back and into his boxers where your vision couldn’t reach. He shot you a grin only reserved for you.
“3..2..1 JUMP!”
“Wait!-”
Steve gripped your hand, pulling you down with him into the icy water below the bridge. Unable to decipher if the sinking feeling in your gut was from the rapid fall of his skin on yours. The shock of the bitterly cold water knocked the wind out of you.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” His smile gleaming at you. Water dripped from his eyelashes, beading on the apples of his cheeks.
 “It’s freezing!” you gasp as you surface. He starts to grip your shoulders in his warm hands, then pauses. A sudden nervousness settled and he was staring. You nervously wondered if there was something else in the water with you both. He never broke his stare. Your best friend for a million lifetimes, beautiful as ever. Looking at you as if you hung the moon just for him.
“I think I'm in love with you.”
When Steve finally peeled open his eyes and glanced at the blinking red of the alarm clock it read ‘3:00 PM’. His breath tasted of stale liquor as he slowly rose from his unmade bed. Skull pounding, he blindly reached for the painkillers he had made a habit of keeping on his nightstand, for afternoons like this.
Your old friend group planned a ‘welcome home’ party in anticipation for your return to Hawkins. Where you had gone to college out of state and made a new life for yourself, Steve hadn’t seemed to be able to keep his ahead above the violent current that was the trauma he endured here, in your hometown.
As you rested on the train back to Indiana, walkman in hand, you felt an air of nausea.You had started to regret leaving your car at your parents house 4 years ago; unsure whether the knot you felt in your gut was the result of motion sickness, or the thought of having to face him again.
Admittedly you were excited to see your friends again. You hadn’t come home for Christmas, for Thanksgiving, not even for summer breaks – always opting to stay as far away from that living nightmare as possible. You told yourself little lies. That it wasn’t because Steve Harrington still resided there, and with him, everything you lost. Everything you know you can never get back.
The air in Steve’s office was stiff and smelled of stale coffee. Robin sits in a less than lady-like position across from him in a chair unofficially designated for her. A plaque that reads “Chief” sat crooked between them from where Robin had set down the paper bag containing their lunch.
“You’re going to have to face her at some point, Steve.” Her voice snaps him out of his dissociative state.
“Yeah, I got it.” He sighs irritably, all traces of enthusiasm drained from his tone.
“I’m just saying,” she starts, “it's been 4 years. I’m sure she’s moved on, man. No bad blood.” It’s meant to be reassuring, but she doesn’t understand that that's entirely the problem. He gives her a skeptical stare. “Look, we’ll all be there. You have a ton of buffer people. Just stop by for a few minutes? For me?” The childish pout she gives in an attempt to guilt-trip is enough to push him over the edge.
“Rob- okay, fine. Stop making that face. For an hour. Not a second longer.” He points a finger at her, not unkindly.
As your car crunches over the gravel in the parking lot of Robin’s apartment complex, you can’t help but notice it’s already filled with cars despite you being perfectly on time. All the windows you knew belonged to her unit were lit a glowing yellow behind sheer curtains, allowing you glimpses of mingling silhouettes. You wonder briefly if this was intentional, or if in your never-ending brain fog, you managed to jumble the times.
A quick glance around the lot reveals that your friends still have the same cars they did all those years ago. Jonathan’s Ford LTD, Nancy’s Volkswagen Cabrio, and an achingly familiar maroon BMW 733i. Your heart jumps to your throat when you see it, accompanied by a sharp twist of betrayal in your chest as you don’t recall Robin ever mentioning he would be here. You suppose you can’t blame her.
You stop to take several deep breaths at the front door. You can hear the bass of an old, classic tune bumping inside and you try to time your breathing with it. In three, hold three, out three, and repeat. You raise your fist to knock before thinking it silly, so you just give the knob a tentative twist and walk in.
The room erupts in ‘Hey!’’s and ‘There she is!’’s. It’s a relief to realize they don’t hate your guts, even though they’ve always made it clear that they don’t. A nauseating guilt settles over you as you’re reminded of how long you’ve left them with barely any word from you at all– the pain of this town and everything that happened in it just too much to bear; even if they were your best friends.
Back then, talking to them sounded like long, mucousy vines that strangled and trapped. It sounded like the bitter cold and emptiness of your hometown mirrored just beneath your feet. It sounded like watching chunks of flesh be ripped from your boyfriend’s skin. It sounded like his screams for your help and you just couldn’t– you needed time.
Now though, as they wrap you in hugs and you smell the homey scent of your best friends apartment, it feels less like then and more like now. Over Nancy’s shoulder, slightly obscured by her usually wild curls, you catch the eye of the one person not dogpiling you, and fight the grimace threatening to surface. You don’t hate Steve, not by any sense of the word– you just can’t look at his stupid, beautiful face without remembering what you did to him.
When everyone disperses, satisfied with their greetings, you can really take in Steve’s appearance in front of you. The years haven’t been unkind to him, but he looks tired. Day old, maybe two, stubble shadows his usually bright face. He fills out the red sweater and light wash Levi’s he wears nicely. You think he’ll always have that boyish Harrington charm, but he looks more like a man than when you left him.
You walk towards him hesitantly.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
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yeonmuse · 3 days ago
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MINI SERIES | YANG JUNGWON
CAN YOU HEAR MY HEART?
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 : Jungwon falls for an antisocial girl with a passion for music and a love for the stars.
GENRE, fluff, slow burn , smau
( 𝐁𝐚𝐞’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ) : I honestly have no idea where this came from I just thought of anti social Jungwon and Anti social reader coming together and this is where it got me
Next Part | Series Masterlist JOIN TAGLIST
Who is she?
Jungwon spent years perfecting his craft, spent years further building his experience and techniques with his cinematography skills. Since the age of nine he had always found delight in having held a camera in his hands, by the age of 16 he experienced his first movie that opened his eyes into the world that was cinematography girl interrupted, though the movie itself was gruesome and somber it was one which he favored for its overbearing cinematography, the color grading and timing of every scene pulled the audience in and forced them to feel everything that the protagonist herself had experienced. Age seventeen his parents gifted him a camera for his birthday, a camera which further sparked his love for film and cinema. He and his friends would find themselves making short films or every log of their lives, though it became even more serious for Jungwon when a short film made by the seven of them won their towns film festival and earned him a full ride scholarship into any university of his choice.
She didn’t like people, she never liked people because they made her far too nervous for a multitude of listed reasons. From the age of six to eight children always proved to be rude, mean and annoying. She’d simply want to make friends though the endless bullying and teasing pushed her further and further from that goal. She simply ghosted her way through the entirety of her middle school years until the time to attend high school had come, it was then that her view on people had only worsened, she sat in silence nearly every day having to observe the bullying, countless fights, the endless number of attention whores and line upon lines of men that simply wanted to get into the pants of her and the many other young women that attended the school. Simply put high school took the cake for the most hellish and torturous years of her school life.
The only ongoing thing in her life that helped her dissociate her way through were the stars she’d see from her window growing up, though as she grew older the stars stopped showing up and slowly faded from the sky, and by the time she turned sixteen it was as if they ceased to exist. Now here she is alone yet again, this time without her parents or younger siblings to fall back upon, as they had been hours, and states away.
A sigh spilled past her lips as her gaze scans the campus of her new home for the next four years. She gave a silent prayer that things here would be different from high school, that some were all older and much more mature, that things wouldn’t be the same. Boy did the lord completely disregard that prayer, because it was a near carbon copy, the only difference being more people knew how to mind their business.
Jungwon eyed her curiously from afar as she stood in the courtyard for what felt like hours just staring into the void. Hundreds of girls on campus and yet his eyes just so happen to fall upon her, her who felt the moment anyone’s eyes fell upon her in classes, her who wouldn’t even want anything to do with him nor anyone else on campus.
It would continue on like that for months on end, Jungwons eyes somehow finding her amidst the overwhelming crowd of others, like a magnet of attraction they always found her. Whenever he’d look at her her head always seemed to be lost within the clouds, she always seemed so distant and distracted. Everywhere she went she wore those headphones and kept her head down as if she wanted to go unseen, but he saw her he always saw her.
Jungwon was someone that had never found interest in anyone other than himself or the same six friends he had known for the last seven years. Needless to say they themselves forced themself into his life but they had always been there ever since and he never felt like he needed anyone else. He never yearned for love nor for his heart to fiend for anyone. He had never desired sex, or the touch or kiss of another because he felt it to be impractical. Growing up he always had eyes on him, though it was attention that by him always went unwanted, but for some reason, here and now he finally experienced what it was like to yearn for someone's attention, for someone's gaze to fall upon him.
For 2 months he continued on this way, hoping that she would one day look his way but she never did. It frustrated him, so much so that he couldn’t even focus on his film making, he of all people? Any time he’d try to focus he wondered what it would be like to talk to her, what did her voice sound like? What was it like to see her smile? What kind of music did she listen to? He’d thought about asking around campus and endless amount of times but he never built the courage, he told himself that this was just a passing phase, that it was simply his mind yearning for some sort of muse, but it did nothing to lessen the ongoing fever of her that lingered every time she walked by.
Then one day, she walked into the library while he had been working on a project with his art study group and he took the chance to slip away without anyone noticing. His eyes curiously drank her in as she piled books into her arms.
She noticed him staring, she always noticed him staring, but what was she to say to him? She dreaded talking to people, dreaded talking to guys even more. With unspoken words she finally turns to face him and as her eyes meet Jungwons something within them sparks a flame. Realizing she had finally been looking at him, that he now fully had her attention his eyes widened almost instantaneously.
“Um.” What was he thinking? He didn’t even know what to say to her. “Hey so I’ve been watching you all this time because for some reason you interested me and I find you pretty? Will you do a film with me?”
“Jungwon, what are you doing? We need to hurry and finish this before tomorrow.” His unspoken words had gone interrupted as his given group called him back to his place at the camera. Jungwon mentally cursed, not knowing if this was an opportunity that he would get again.
“Jungwon..” his name melted on her tongue like cotton candy, her soft voice breaking the silence as she stood alone yet again. Though for some reason she felt slight disappointment.
Weeks had passed since Jungwon saw her again, he had gotten a taste of what it was like to have her look at him, to have her eyes on him and he yearned for it. So when given the opportunity he would force himself to talk to her, even if he didn’t know what to say.
Every day he’d find himself trudging through the aisles of the library, hoping to see her and eventually he did.
“Hi, I'm here to return my books.” That was the first time he heard her voice, a voice that made his ears melt, a voice that he wanted, no he needed to hear more of. If anyone were to view things from the outside they’d think him to be crazy, even he thought he was crazy, obsessing over some girl he had never even had the courage to approach until now. He didn’t understand why she had such a pull on him, and as much as he tried to dismiss the curious feeling and aching instinct to be close to her he couldn’t. Without thinking he pulled a random book from the shelf and stepped beside her at the opposing checkout.
“Oh Jungwon, are you checking out more books for your project? I thought you guys finished up yesterday?”
“Yeah we did, but you know I can never seem to stop the ideas from flowing.” Jungwon felt butterflies burn the pit of his stomach as he felt it again, her eyes on him.
For a moment her eyes did fall upon him, she was curious, curious as to who he was, what he and the other students had been doing in the library yesterday. Why did he approach her yesterday?
“Oh yn, have you met Jungwon?” Chaewon the library assistant seemed to notice her curious gaze and decided to break the overbearing tension that seemed to be pouring from the both of them.
“You’re always in here so maybe you saw him yesterday, he’s a film major, they’ve actually been looking for someone to help with choosing scores and soundtracks for one of their bigger projects, maybe you can help them since you’re good with music?” Her eyes widened and she glanced back and forth between her and Jungwon. At that moment she prayed that the ground would swallow her whole. She gave Chaewon a pleading look as if to ask her not to say another word but chaewon simply returned her look with a look of confusion.
Chaewon was the only thing close to a friend that yn had, ever since she started frequenting the library the girl had always been there. No matter how many times yn had tried to mind her business and avoid conversation Chaewon never stopped trying. Slowly but surely the girl found herself opening herself up a bit more to Chaewon.
“Do you really? We’ve been trying to find someone in the music department for months now that can match the vibe of the film and we’ve had no luck, if it's not a problem we could really use your help.” She hates the way he looks at her, expectantly, his soft eyes so full of hope that she might say yes. She felt her heartbeat quicken and her temperature rise as she froze on the spot. She always avoided people but now she had no way of avoiding the conversation at hand.
“Maybe?” That was enough, Jungwon didn’t need to hear anything else.
“Here's my number, if you do decide that you’d like to give it a try then you can text me? I’m always in the film room really late but I can swing by your dorm to get you if needed.” Hearing those words her soul completely left her body. Him? Come to her dorm.
“No! I mean- no it's okay i'll meet you in the courtyard? The big tree where the senior event planners usually sit?”
Chaewon couldn’t help but feel like she was missing something between the two of them but knowing yn she thought that maybe she was just feeling a little nervous or awkward talking to Jungwon. Both yn and Chaewon watch as Jungwon disappears from the library.
“He didn’t even sign for the book- ” Chaewon holds the book in her hand before looking down and reading the title.
“The kissing booth. Since when does he make romance films?” Chaewon shrugs and makes her way from behind the counter to put the book back in its rightful place, leaving the girl alone to drown in her thoughts.
The entire walk back to her dorm yn couldn’t stop overthinking and panicking. She couldn’t not show up because then she’d look like a bitch, but if she did agree to it then she would risk having to speak and be around groups of people which she completely dreaded.
Jungwon on the other hand couldn’t stop looking at his phone from the moment he had given her his number. If this were any other day he couldn’t care less about his phone. There had been many times heeseung would complain about his messages going unread or him having missed his calls since he was always working on some sort of project. Right here right now though, his eyes would shift to his phone every 5 minutes. An hour went by and he finally heard the ding of his cellphone. He blankly stared at his phone as he read the message sent by an unknown contact. What should he say?
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Jungwon couldn’t help but chuckle at her panicked text, she was cute. He had gone from not even knowing her and not talking to her to wanting to only hear and see her talk. With a smile on his lips he responds to her panicked messages “meet me at the magnolia tree”
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auroras-zenith · 2 days ago
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what doesn't kill you // part 4
you had your whole life planned out for you; start an agency with your best friend, scale the charts and make japan your bitch. but when a tragic accident leaves you incapacitated and out of a job, you find you just need to start fresh. you cut ties–and for two years, you've all but disappeared. until they need you again and come knocking at your door.
bakugo x retiredpro!reader
prologue ✧ previous ✧ next
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You'd be lying if you said that at least part of the motivation for coming tonight wasn't to see him. Or rather, for him to see you.
"It was totally badass though! You were like, 'No I won't leave till I'm done!' even though the building was collapsing and stuff!" Chargebolt complimented, quite enthusiastically.
Jirou looked unimpressed. "You make it sound dorky."
You had to agree. "It wasn't like that." You argued amusedly, lips twisted into a grin. "It was way cooler."
You had contacted Jirou after that day that she had visited you, deciding that you had gone far too long without her in your life. It was weird, finally getting to know somebody who you had gone to high school with, but it was nice nonetheless.
She was dating Chargebolt, you'd learned, the quirky but endearing individual who had secured his spot as ninth on the Japanese hero charts.
Tonight was a new experience for you. Everyone else standing as you socialized with Japan's top heroes, it was odd being the only one sitting. In a wheelchair no less.
Insecure wouldn't be the right word to describe it. You were practically Bakugo's female counterpart. You didn't get insecure; but you couldn't deny that you did feel rather out of your depth.
"Hey look! it's Kiri!"
You turned to where Chargebolt was pointing–feeling your back straighten instinctually as your eyes locked onto an ash blonde man dressed in a nicely pressed suit stood beside him.
Bakugo choked as he saw you–but Kirishima was headed towards where you stood before he could come up with an excuse not to follow. His grip on the champagne glass in his hand tightened.
"Hey Denki! Jirou, L/n." Kirishima greeted with a toothy as they reached your group–Bakugo quietly standing by his side, his eyes trained firmly on his shoes.
"How are you doing, L/n? You look amazing." The red haired giant greeted kindly.
His knuckles were going white as he stared holes into the floor. He had bought you those shoes, he noted. The day that the two of you opened your agency.
God, how could this be happening?
He couldn't look up–couldn't bear to see you like this. Crippled.
It felt disrespectful to the memory of you he held so highly in his mind. His partner on the battlefield. Someone he trusted with his life.
So he kept his neck bent and his mouth shut, feeling ready to fall apart at the slightest inconvenience.
"-t children, Katsuki?"
"What?" He asked, only catching the last half of your sentence as he tuned back into the conversation. He felt his chest squeeze oddly at the sound of your voice.
"I asked if you were still screaming at children." You repeated, cocky grin slightly tense as you tried to fall back into the same familiar rhythm of teasing and bantering that you normally had with him.
No matter how much you denied it, part of you was on the edge of your seat, yearning for his approval.
But how could he give it to you while he was so focused on the floor?
"Oh. Uh, no." He said gruffly, eyes unwavering. He didn't so much as crack a smile. "I've- uh- I've got to go. I think I hear Pinky calling." He mumbled, hand in his pocket and head bowed as he quickly left.
Your smile faltered slightly–and suddenly everything you had thought about 'not feeling insecure' flew out the window as you shrunk back into your chair.
What were you doing here? In a room full of Japan's top or soon to be top heroes?
They had been your classmates at one point, but it was different now.
One wrong move and now you sat, crippled in a wheelchair as they all strived to reach the common goal you all shared.
The goal you would no longer be able to achieve.
You stared at your lap as the cogs in your mind turned furiously
"L/n?" Jirou called, not appreciating the way your shoulders curled inward. "You alright?"
You nodded slowly. It was an uncomfortable feeling, the one that haunted you now. Not sad. You had long believed there was no point in being sad. Rather... resigned.
Defeated.
You had fought a battle, and you had lost. Now you had to live with the consequences.
Like the partner you had known since your first year of high school unable to even look you in the eye.
"I think I'm going to head out early." You finally mumbled, shaking your head to try and clear your thoughts as you looked around for your things.
"They haven't even announced the awards yet," She frowned. "You don't want to stay?"
No. You really didn't. "Just text me an update? Of who gets what." You couldn't care less, but it seemed like the right thing to say.
You were headed for the door the second she agreed, mumbling quick goodbyes to everyone who stopped you on your way out.
The sterile smell of the hospital only spurred your movements faster as you rolled through the automatic entrance. Bags that had been so kindly brought to you by your friends for your stay dumped haphazardly by your room door, medication wildly thrown into your pockets; you grabbed your things, heaving them into your lap as you made once more for the hospital lobby.
You just needed to start anew.
Red lights foretold an ominous warning as you waited silently in the back of your uber, headed home. Tonight would be spent packing what you needed, you had decided.
Tomorrow, you would be gone.
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a/n: wouldn't you like to know weather boy
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taglist: @floverisland @biancatomlinson @rosaryia @highlandhyena @sarashu @rednicotine @emmaiscool22 @your-mum3000 @whoreforfictionalmen18 @sikuthealien @thefirst-ofus @harryzcherry
permanent tags: @phtmmsqrde @pikachuzhc @stabbygabyy @frosted-flakes
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thatnonameuser · 18 hours ago
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OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I just read the Azul thought and I totally agree!! It makes me excited to see his breaking point when his contracts are all destroyed!!! AH!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Can't wait to see him crying and sobbing because all his hard work turned to dust, that he's once more proven to be a pathetic yandere. Outclassed by some like Leona that even MC [A darling!] chose to live and work with Leona more than him. [and on that note: I can also imagine that this memory will make Azul more spiteful with Leona post-ob.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And speaking of Leona!! I also had a thought. Did you know that in the original Lion King, Scar liked Simba's mom? And one of the reasons he killed Mufasa was to have her when he becomes king. I was wondering if you're going to incorporate that? That Leona once thought of Cheka's mom as his darling, and when his brother took her away [Like he took everything else from him] Leona was filled with hatred; In a Leona-centered event, Leona was said to have done everything in his power to prove that he too should have a claim to the throne and that he was better than his brother, only to give up once his brother's reign became secure after producing Cheka. I would imagine yan-au Leona to try and fight his brother for darling, only to lose. And he'd keep fighting, of course, he's nothing but tenacious. Only to have his spirits crushed when it's announced that she's pregnant. [Which you said is an ultimate claim of the darling?]
He went to school late because of that and he stayed there because he didn't like going home [Probably gets sour every time he catches sight of Cheka.] And you said that yanderes can find out that they can mistake a darling to be theirs until they meet "The true one". So will MC be a victim of this "True Darling" schtick? I imagine this can fuel Leona's possessive tendencies. He's already lost once. I doubt he'd want to lose again. [I also imagine he'd be pissed at Riddle and everyone else during his OB, cause they specifically kept MC away as he was "too dangerous"] just a thought dump, hope this is okay?
Don’t worry! It was perfectly okay!!
Azul’s going to want to kill Leona. 
After finding out Leona, a strong yandere, sent him back to being a pathetic, useless yandere again with just a little magic is destroying him. And when he finds out you worked with him (you hate him, you think he’s too weak so you chose someone stronger because he’s too pathetic-) well, that’ll just destroy him. When he finds out that you slept in Leona’s bed because of your deal. Knowing that you were wrapped in that beast’s arms for three nights makes his cold blood boil that much hotter.
(Side note - Chad Leona stealing Beta Azul’s girl was a hilarious idea I came up with as I was writing this. I thought I’d share it.)
He wants to skin that lion alive. But if you come to him for any help in getting away from the lion, he’ll do it without a second thought, anything he can do to draw you to him and away from that lazy, oversized house cat.
*                        *                        *                        *
But let’s move back to Leona. But before that, Scar. 
I actually did know that Scar liked Sarabi, that’s the name of Simba’s mom, which is why I’ve made her his darling.  Scar says in the Lion King that Mufasa was always stronger than him, so maybe Scar tried to fight for the throne and Sarabi’s hand and failed. And because of that it’s one of the reasons he kills his brother and tries to kill Simba, because he wants to get rid of every reminder that he didn’t win her hand originally. 
Now back to Leona, he is similar. He originally assumed Falena’s wife, then fiance, to be his darling back when his brother brought her home. She was beautiful, smart and sly. She wasn’t some useless basic princess, she was clever and snarky, noble and strong. Back then, he confused her for his darling. And for good reason, back then he once saw her as perfect. 
But as soon as he saw the bite mark on the back of her neck, the love at first sight dissolved into jealous fury. Of course, his brother would try to take everything he ever wanted away from him before he could even try to get it. Like he always did. 
Watching him wrap his arm around her, kiss her, and touch her made that jealous burn all the brighter. He obviously tried to fight his brother for her, but while he was given the brains in the family, his brother got the brute strength and he lost. Whenever he tried again, he lost again. He even hoped his brother would fail in the rituals needed for him to marry her, but once again the brute found success. 
And then they got married, and then she got pregnant, and after that Cheka was born. And that little ankle biter wouldn’t leave him alone, permanently reminding him about his loss. Going home drilled that agonising reminder into his heart. 
But then, he met you.
There’s a saying that if you confuse someone else as your darling, their traits will be similar to your true darling. And you are all those things.
He knew you were his as soon as he breathed in your scent. And he was given his second chance to have his darling. His true one this time. But that’s what makes him so possessive. Fuelled by his animal instincts and past loss, he’s not going to risk losing you.
Regarding his rage at the others for keeping you away from him, he’s definitely pissed combined with the reminder of his other losses. The urge to dissolve them into sand particles for them keeping his darling away from him. 
Also……..
Seven forbid Leona finds out Malleus has been spending time with you. Seven forbid Leona finds out you’re also Malleus’ darling. Leona’s not dumb, as soon as he can get you he will. 
Better be smart, Herbivore~
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gothamite-rambler · 14 hours ago
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Tim's and Konnor first kiss
Context: This is just my headcanon where Tim did date Konnor, it didn't work out and then later when he fully realized he was bisexual and reconnected with Bernard he started dating him. Because why pick on ship when you can have both and write ship script fics about it? Plus I do secretly headcanon Tim as being the opposite of Jason and he's great at dating and flirting even when he's being a nerd. Tim is the third Robin and has been questioning his sexuaility, but finds himself attracted to both genders and he has though Konnor was foine! Issue is while Konnor has been out of the closet for a few years, Tim isn't sure the superhero would want to be with him. So he shoots his shot, will he get that kiss?
Red Robin yawned as Konnor Kent discussed the plan to sneak into LexCorp. Though he usually managed three to four hours of sleep, sometimes exhaustion crept in. Still, he wasn't complaining—he was next to Konnor. The boy's effervescent energy always kept him focused.
Konnor (eagerly): If we go here, here, and here, we can drop down there and take them out. That way, we get everything squared away.
Robin glanced over the blueprints Konnor had drawn himself and nodded.
Robin (genuine): Good plan.
Konnor (surprised): That's it?
Robin (casually): Yeah. Were you expecting me to say something else?
Konnor (confused): You usually pick apart other plans, and by the end of it, the whole thing is changed. You do a good job at that—don’t get me wrong—but there’s nothing you want to fix on mine?
Robin chuckled, resting his arm on the table.
Robin (light-hearted): For others, I would, but yours has a lot of thought put into it, and you know Lex's buildings better than I do. It's a solid plan.
Konnor (smiling softly): I mean, I’m not just some dumb guy who can fly and is super strong. I have layers. Some people misunderstand that about me. I can be really good at planning, too. Thanks, Robin.
Tim (smiling): No one else is around, dude. You can call me Tim.
Konnor (perking up): Seriously? Cool! I felt weird saying "Robin" at times. "Tim Drake" is a more badass name.
Tim (smiling, sweet tone): Konnor isn't bad either.
Konnor (curious): Really? I always hated my name.
Tim (shrugging): You have a good name, regardless of the connotations it has. And I agree, you're not dumb—there are many great things about you.
Konnor (raising an eyebrow with a knowing smile): Tim, are you coming on to me?
Tim sat back, resting his arms behind his head.
Tim (coy tone): Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.
Konnor: Hm, all right. If I said you're attractive to me and I've been wanting to kiss you for months since coming out, what would your response be?
Tim chuckled, sitting up straight and scooching his chair closer to Konnor.
Tim: I'd say I've been feeling the same about you.
Konnor pouted, tapping his fingers on the table, contemplating whether this was Tim being truthful. He could hear the man's heartbeat slightly speeding up, but he wasn't sure if it was infatuation or deception.
Konnor (slightly dejected tone): I'm not going to lie, I'm worried this is a dumb trick you're pulling on me.
Tim tilted his head, his tired eyes reflecting confusion.
Tim: Hm? Why would you think that?
Konnor: Because you're straight, right? You were with Stephanie. Heck, I've even met your girlfriend before you got involved with Steph, and I'd rather not be your 'experiment.'
Konnor glanced at his blueprints, trying to concentrate on the mission rather than dwelling on the painful possibilities of "what if." However, he couldn’t help but notice Tim's expression shift from coy to anxious.
Tim (worry in his tone): No, no, no, you're not an experiment or anything like that. I'm not sure what I like because my brain isn't saying I only like women, but I don’t only like men. I—
Tim sighed, covering his eyes in embarrassment. Konnor turned in his chair to face his friend and took his hand gently.
Tim (softly): I met up with this old friend from high school, and after saving him as Robin and being with him… I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to be close to him like I was with a woman... but then he left. Then I noticed I felt that way for a while and when I see you, and I want that same thing. I still like women, but I… what am I?
Konnor chuckled, softly rubbing the top of Tim's hand.
Konnor (sympathetic tone): I went through something similar when I realized this when I came out. You might be bi, dear boy. Are… you okay?
Tim (sighing while keeping his head down): Yeah.
Konnor: Good, because you look like you've been holding that secret in for a long time. If I'm right, I don't want to assume anything. Sexuality is a weird spectrum, but I'm getting the feeling you aren't just straight or gay.
Tim (hesitantly): You're… right. It seems… It is... I mean... I am bisexual, I think.
Konnor smiled warmly.
Konnor: I'm here if you want to talk or… kiss. Both work.
Tim chuckled, taking his hand back to remove his eye mask.
Tim: I thought you didn't want that. I want to do that, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable; I really want to kiss you, but… I don’t know. God, I can't think of the right choice.
Konnor (softly): Since it's not a trick and you opened up to me, I feel more… reclined to let you have your first kiss with the perfect superhuman.
Tim smirked, trying to glare playfully at Konnor.
Tim: You know "inclined" is the right word, and that’s a bit of an ego trip… but no one else is here.
Konnor nodded, and Tim sighed, leaning in. Their lips met quickly at first, but Konnor pulled him back for a deeper kiss that left Tim stunned. His cheeks flushed a bright shade of crimson, his eyes widening in surprise as he momentarily froze. His arms stayed at his sides for a heartbeat, but as they parted for a breath, Tim kissed Konnor again, feeling the man's hand rest gently against his neck.
Tim placed his hand on Konnor’s hip, pulling him closer and taking in a shaky breath. As the initial shock wore off, warmth spread through him, instinctively leaning into the kiss and melting into the connection between them.
He kept kissing Konnor, feeling his heartbeat race as the seconds slipped by. Feeling Tim's steady breath against his lips sent tingles down Konnor's spine. He lightly gripped Tim's arm, drawing him closer, feeling the undeniable strength and warmth radiating off him. In that moment, nothing else mattered; the world around them faded into a blur.
Tim's lips were soft yet confident, as if he were exploring the depths of Konnor’s emotions with every lingering brush. Konnor tightened his fingers around Tim's arm, pulling him in even closer, as if trying to fuse their bodies together.
As they broke apart, Konnor's breath mingled with Tim's, both panting slightly from the rush of adrenaline. Tim looked at him with an expression that blended surprise and something deeper, almost tender.
Then Tim promptly fell forward, his eyes rolling back in his head. Konnor caught him, letting his friend rest on his chest to prevent him from sliding onto his lap.
Konnor (jokingly): Yeah, don't want anyone walking in if you landed on my legs. I didn't know my kiss was that powerful.
Tim (dazed): To be fair, you're the first man I've kissed.
Konnor (fist pumping): All right!
Tim sat up and sighed happily, then covered his eyes in embarrassment, shaking his head.
Tim: Does this get ea—s
Konnor (interrupting): I'm gonna stop you there. When I came out as bi, it felt like I left this confined space; it made sense. I felt free, but that's just the beginning. Dating is the difficult part, but we can talk about that after the mission. We can go to the KFC combination Taco Bell afterward.
Tim (laughing): Is that a date?
Konnor returned to reviewing his blueprints but kept a sly smile on his face as he glanced at Tim.
Konnor: It can be, but LexCorp first.
Tim nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over him. The realization that he was bisexual felt surreal but in a good way. Konnor was right; it felt freeing. While he still had a lot to learn about himself, it felt good to have an answer.
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howdyfriend · 3 days ago
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wheee thank you june!! haven't done one of these in a while :)
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Hi! I'm Howdy!
What's something you're really passionate about, and how did you discover it?
Forensic science, specifically forensic taphonomy and entomology. I first discovered it after taking a forensics course online in high school, and fell in love with the science of the above fields. I love how they work together and what they can tell you about the deceased in an investigation. Super fascinating.
What's your favourite way to spend your weekend or free time?
Recently it's been hopping on criticality acclaimed mmorpg Final Fantasy XIV lol. I have a free company full of people who are lots of fun to chat and play with so I'm usually there hanging out with them :) If not I'm trying to schedule hanging out with friends, going to the library, baking, drawing, reading, playing with my dog, or listening to music.
What's a piece of advice or quote that has stuck with you throughout the years?
I can't say there's any singular bit of advice that sticks with me. I am a collection of a lot of advice given in a lot of different directions. It's hard picking out just one 😅.
What's your go-to comfort food or drink when you're feeling down?(Bonus points if you include a recipe)
Spaghetti and meatballs and a London fog :)
I make everything from scratch for my spaghetti (sometimes even the pasta itself!), so that's a bit too complex for one post. London fog is easy tho.
1. Steam some milk
2. Steep earl grey tea in a small amount of water (about a quarter cup)
3. Combine in mug of choice. Leave bag in mug for extra steeping.
4. Add sweetener, I use a spoon of vanilla syrup.
5. Froth milk and done!
What's the most meaningful gift you've ever given or received?
I'm going to pick based on objective use rather than sentimentality because if I get into that I start feeling guilty about picking one gift over another lol. In terms of objective use, my laptop. It's been great for school and games and connecting with friends :). I'm learning a lot on how to fix it myself as well, so I feel like im fighting back against things like planned obsolescence in my own little way.
BONUS: What's one little fun fact about you that most people don't know about?
hmmmmmm. swallowed a toonie once. don't do that it's not fun. I had to go to the ER. idk I share a lot. I don't have much else, lol
tagging no one cause im lazy <3 thank you june, love you and miss you lots, let me know when your free days are id love to come up and visit.
Tag Game!!
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I thought it'd be fun to make a tag game for everyone, so here's my version!!
alongside this picrew, and 2 pictures you think describes you, answer some questions about yourself.
What’s something you’re really passionate about, and how did you discover it?
What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend or free time?
What’s a piece of advice or a quote that has stuck with you over the years?
What’s your go-to comfort food or drink when you’re feeling down? (Bonus points if you can give a recipe)
What’s the most meaningful gift you’ve ever given or received
Bonus: What’s a random fun fact about yourself that most people don’t know?
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i'll go first
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I'm Alyssa!
What’s something you’re really passionate about, and how did you discover it?
Mythology! I've been super into mythology in general since I was in middle school, and i can just talk about it for hours. I first discovered it when my friend forced me to read Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series, and it spiraled from there.
What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend or free time?
Most of the time I have to take extra classes during weekends, but other than that I read whenever I can! Be it a physical copy, a pdf or even fanfiction I spend most of my time reading. But when I can find some time for myself I either write or make bracelets. Sometimes I work on my ocs' lore with my friend, so it really depends on how busy I am at that moment.
What’s a piece of advice or a quote that has stuck with you over the years?
My mom once told me "If someone isn't willing to value you or your efforts, don't waste your time on them. Don't give your all to people who won't do the same." And while it sounds mean at first, it's actually helped me over the years.
What’s your go-to comfort food or drink when you’re feeling down? (Bonus points if you can give a recipe)
Sütlaç has been one of my top comfort foods for years now. It's a Turkish dessert made with rice, milk and sugar (and cinnamon, honey or nuts if i'm feeling fancy) Though sometimes i make cookies instead!
What’s the most meaningful gift you’ve ever given or received?
I made over 300 paper stars in a sitting for my friend, each star representing a day i'd have known her on her birthday. I chose paper stars because they meant a lot to her. I also got her a (plastic) rose because she told me she thought she'd never get flowers from anyone.
Bonus: What’s a random fun fact about yourself that most people don’t know?
I used to be afraid of dogs when I was younger. The reason was because my granddad had a little dog that loved running around. Whenever we went to visit my grandparents the little thing would chase me around the garden until one of us dropped because of exhaustion. I think this was my first childhood trauma.
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Tagging (no pressure!) : @romaritimeharbor , @kopivie , @ruruumin , @strxnged , @femivi +
@mlkbwunnies , @aureusveill , @milk-violet , @camvrin , @strryskys + anyone who would like to join!
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kerosene-saint · 5 months ago
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so many things happening in my life in the next couple months and it feels like my life is turning around compared to how I felt this time last year which was complete and utter dread and burn out in every sense of the word
#ME WHEN I GIVE MYSELF MORE SPACE AND TIME TO HEAL AND BE OKAY AFTER A SCHOOL YEAR#there are several factors as to why i don't feel like the human-ish equivalent of the swamp monster#mostly though it's because I'm going into homeschooling so the overwhelming fear of the next school year and all the expectations and#running around and will i get a good teacher and do i have to change my schedule and oh god am i gonna be able to get my 504 in check and#are my teachers even going to follow it and all of that isn't present#I'm gonna meet my teacher here soon and i she's a special ed teacher and i won't have to run between classes#or worry about my principal suddenly making a rule that we can't go to the bathrooms during class hours#and everything else that comes with going to school i did#and also the reason i don't feel like shit is i haven't done much this summer!!! literally everything was fighting for my time and attention#last summer and i felt like i barely had a moment to breathe#one moment I'm in Tennessee with my aunt and the next I'm back in Oklahoma running a convention#and then less than a week later I'm at counselor in training camp for two weeks (would've been three but i got sick due to overworking#myself while at the camp)#and then as soon as all of that was done i had only about a week before school started again#this year i only went to one convention instead of working at one and I'm going to two camps#one was at the start which was a day camp that i work at#and the second one is like next weekend (not this one but the next) and it's an overnight but again only a weekend instead of two weeks#and I'm a camper at that second camp since it's meant for lgbtq+ teens :3#and that's it!!!!#then i have school and in October i have the dan and phil terrible influence tour in Colorado#which means i get to visit my aunt and uncle and my cousin#and i have my nurse gerard costume for halloween#and then at the end of January i have my first furry convention which I'm making a fursuit for currently!!!!!
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pollen · 2 months ago
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i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like
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#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him#last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy#idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being#and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do#genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses#that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at#being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything#else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends#i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas#except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies#because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again#and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend#i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this#idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well#which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this#and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid#and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid#so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd#but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please#i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up
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thelastspeecher · 7 months ago
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apparently one of my cousins was just accepted into a master's writing program at an Ivy League school
and that's why I almost never go on Facebook 🙃
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weezerlvr228 · 3 months ago
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flippin boobahs!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#OKAH HI CHAT#i’ve been thinking#this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related#yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger#i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her#i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social#emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that#i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself#i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot#which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for#the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD#i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better#i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the#lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone#while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time#i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if#they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was#relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc#e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL#i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap#i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever#…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.
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our-lady-of-mcr · 7 months ago
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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bibleofficial · 9 months ago
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leaving the hospital in the morning & i finally get to go back to wales & i can’t wait i rly can’t - the belgians i’ve met have been wonderful [for the most part] but the rape has me panicking even seeing the roads and the buildings
#diary#literally everyone else was wonderful except for the HOTEL EMPLOYEES THAT REFUSED TO HELP ME FIND MY WAY BACK TO THE HOSTEL & THE GUY THAT#DENIED HAVING A PHONE TO SHOW ME A MAP AFTER THE RAPE#shoutout to school children love yall so much they’re so polite & also the amazing older DJ that was talking to us at the irish pub prior to#us going back to the hostel & me leaving w the tall friendly man - i’ve his number & i told him i was going to text him bc he was going to#host an underground rave at an abbey but couldn’t make it bc i’ve been in the hospital since monday#i’ll come back to ghent sometime - i just need to. get over the trauma lol#i still have his number ! he rolled a j w me - he’s such a saint#i’m just a chatter i love talking to people despite being introverted#i wouldn’t go OUT OF MY WAY TO SPEAK but if they come up to ME i’m WELL OPEN#which he did he’s so sweet & also the old homosexuals i was smoking w & gave me info on the drug culture here bc i was curious & also the#tall belgian that took me to those few bars & we chatted abt belgium and how ghent is changing#i wish i were able to actually continue w the rest of our group for the site visit but honestly it#it just wasn’t going to happen#i can’t even go back to the hostel without shaking and panicking#my darlings kp & omar know everything & everything is ok i love them so much - the group we are w have all been wonderful bar like the 4#that made their own clique but they’re all boring anyway so they can fuck off lol#THE OTHER 9 ….. STAN#well 7 bc omar & kp i alrdy stan & they know#i’m just telling everyone it was an assault and robbery bc everyone knows something is up bc i walked into the hostel at 9a & nobody knew#where i was bc my phone was dead & i couldn’t tell anyone & also i was probably drugged honestly#i don’t even know my guess is rohypnol#god fuck that guy fuck that guy so much oh my god i swear if i see him again …. bro ur not living im not afraid of european prison in the#fuckin slightest i don’t give a shit
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areyoudoingthis · 2 years ago
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I understand 100% of nothing
#my plans for today were coming home straight from work and taking a nap before my doctor's appointment#instead they involved staying an extra hour at work because there was chaos with my first years#some of them were being absolute shitheads to one of their classmates who's adopted and has two dads#and a coworker made me reconsider my entire understanding of the universe by informing me that the former principal that i thought the#world of and who made me fall in love with teaching again is apparently being an asshole to everyone now because she quit (on purpose.#because she wanted to. because she became a school inspector) and the school has a new principal#which like?????? what did you think was going to happen???????#what did you expect us to do??????#what do you mean you care more about your own ego than about the children you taught me should be the center of everything we do#i don't even know how to begin processing anything that happened today#and my coworker was a shithead too on top of everything else cause she was like what school are you working at???? how come you don't know#any of this????#WELL WAS IT ON THE NEWSPAPER CAROL#how the hell was i supposed to know no one fucking told me#and I'm upset that no one bothered to inform me the school and therefore us as teachers are apparently under attack#i don't need the stupid gossip but someone should have told me I'm apparently working under hostile circumstances and parents may randomly#decide to pick on me#I'm just so mad at everyone grown ups are the fucking worst kids are absolutely right#anyway i didn't need to see my therapist about my parents being assholes but i need to talk to her after this#alex txt
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ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 2 years ago
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I really really wish dreams were easier to understand/interpret
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#I keep having dreams/nightmares about repressed memories &/or memories in general or like investigations or smth#like my dreams will be point blank referencing something going so far as to literally tell me that in dream but either I don’t know what or#I don’t fully understand why? like some stuff is obvious and easy & usually I figure it out in dream or right after#but other times it’s just like ???? or it’s like I have some of the pieces but not all of them and I have no idea what picture I’m supposed#to be trying to put together for the puzzle either? sometimes dreams are just cool adventures with like messaging or processing#other times it’s memories and I can tell I’m in a memory but I either can’t tell which one or why or it’s like a hazy remix of several ? or#sometimes it’s like there’s someone else there with me guiding me through it? sometimes it’s like another me or a demon or a ghost or a god#I’ve also noticed a huge uptick in dreams/nightmares where it’s like I can tell the time period they come from and it’s been getting#like progressively younger? like I had some post grad then high school then middle#and then last sleeps one was elementary or younger maybe bits & pieces where I was slightly older?#I remember going through different places i lived in order to figure out my ideal living area but there was a memory block on one area#& I remember exploring like my childhood home & I know I was a kid because I was short and everything looked like it did when I was little#everything was bigger & I remember there was I think parties? & AU versions of my family some supernatural#ik there was an investigation w/ me & an Alt ver of my sis bc smth happened to both of us & it was like a whodunnit while a cooking comp was#sort of in the back ground? think iron chef but supernatural it went between that and parties where I was the only kid there so if I go#based on that there’s at least 2 maybe 3 hazy memories of parties my siblings had? 1 was in upstairs bathroom which was hazy but I remember#I was alone with this one girl in the bathroom at some point who I think later died if it’s the same girl & then the other one there’s hazy#memories of I think me showing one of my sisters friends around the basement? around the same area as the dream too#I also keep having dreams/nightmares of the same house ik I had one before where it was abt how me+siblings have ties there that will keep#leading us back & I think my dad was trying to sever it or fix it from the afterlife? I’ve had a lot of dreams about him & the house#he’s usually either dealing w/ smth there or stuck or needs my help or it’s just memories/easier there but occasionally he gets really creep#like I had a nightmare a while ago where he was this scary shadow man at the end of the basement hall I didn’t actually know if it was him#but bc dream logic I wanted it to be him so I ran towards him & it turned into an older version that wouldn’t have been there normally#also weird coz it’s normal to have nightmares abt certain members of my family but the recent one was very different than they normally are#I’m not usually as young like I’m often younger (sometimes older) but not usually that same feeling and time period#I think the last time I rmemeber having nightmares like that was when I WAS that age back when I used to have nightmares every night#+ ofc occasional sleep paralysis (thanks tonsils) it’s like my brain is trying to remember all the stuff I’ve blocked out over the years
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bare1ythere · 2 years ago
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#a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world. a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world. a B in a bio class isnt the end of the world#I have such a complex about doing bad in academics but especially in bio because like. thats supposed to be the one thing im good at#but this class keeps throwing me curve balls and im not doing Bad but not good enough to the point that I feel sick to my stomach#at the thought of studying for the exam#and i dont have enough time i dont have enough time to study for my chem final which is in THREE DAYS.#With everything else also happening#I just feel so overwhelmed. I feel like i felt so much more confident in previous finals seasons#i dont know man academics were so much easier for me in high school#i dont even know if i wanna be a doctor anymore. i dont know if the dread I feel at the thought is because im just lazy and uncompetitive#or that its a sign that im going in the wrong direction#and the only thing im confident in anymore is my love for fandom stuff#but even then i dont feel good about my art half the time#im just tired of being stressed I guess. why do i have to kill myself for 8 months a year only to come out of it for like a week or two#to catch my breath. i feel like im going insane#this cant be right. this cant be right#shut up me#i did way too much this term and it almost killed me. but i feel so weak and lazy for not being able to do it all#Im already taking fewer classes next term and an extra year to graduate. I dont know why i cant handle the pressure the way my siblings can#ugh. whatever#i ha. i dont have time for this#vent
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